current state :(

My current state of mind ...
?....??..???.......????...??.. ??...???
many thoughts running in my mind
Actually one can make animation movie
out of it!!!

I am thinking about that ONE SPARK
which is needed to start my project

I am waiting for an apple to fall
on my head,
Last time it fell when NEWTON sat
under an apple tree
and he stated " Law of gravity" ....... :D

current state :( ( part II)

When "A" read my blog ..she wrote few lines,

which I have mentioned below..

HaHa :D I was planning to write something on MY current state of mind..

you stole my lines!

the rate at which I am going right now,

forget Newton I'm willing to do a Archimedes! ;)

Fact

Don't say YES when you want to say NO
&
Don't say NO when you want to say YES !!

let it go

Time is flying
I don't want to capture any moment
Let it go!

This time,
I don't want to carry anything with me
not a single memory
not a single person...

"Feelings"

sometimes you don't know
what is happening to you,
at one moment you feel elated
other moment feeling of loosing something
or suddenly you feel depressed and low..

forget about telling this to someone
I myself not able to understand
this thing called " feelings"

why they are so important in our lives
they decide our own moods
they have power of changing you entirely
mainly people are responsible for this
may be wanted or unwanted...
I feel sometimes,
even atmosphere is responsible for this
If weather is nice then at least
you have one reason less to complain
or your state of mind matters a lot..

why ...
when cloud comes together
wind starts blowing
when you hear thundering
see raindrops
make you feel nice
you get tempted to get wet in the rain...
do all crazy things
or just feel the rain
which seeps inside you
the more you get wet!!

why does this happen?
why are we so driven by our so called " feelings"
How will you explain .. the factor of "feeling" something
or its stupid to think about " feelings"
but still everyone follows ....feelings :)
what are the factors which decide ...how one should feel

I don't know whether it all makes sense
I am just writing whatever I am feeling right now!!!

I am so HaPpY :D

Sometimes you just don't know what to say...
Miracles do happen... in today's world
If you love someone truly...it will be all yours...
Few things in life just change you totally...inside out
Every thing feels complete ...like a full circle

Sometimes you just smile...
As some one said
“Some joys are better expressed in silence ...
as a smile holds more meaning than laughter"
I wanted to jump
I wanted to laugh
But I was on the verge of crying
Unable to handle so much of Happiness

Last 11 years came in front of my eyes
I was in flash back
We had our greatest time of life spend together..
shared Happiness...sorrows...dreams... ambitions...
Love life...picnics...food..drinks
Responsibilities... frustrations...weakness...n number of things!!!
Every possible thing on the earth

I just wanted him to be happy
Truly..not compromised due to circumstances
I am so so HaPpY!!!
These are the simple words...
through which I can express my happiness.
I want them to be happy always
I have seen him suffering
counting every second
deep in side his heart...
sometime your face doesn't reflect anything
but your eyes speak
A time comes in your life when you just pray
because you can't do anything else
I think...
And....suddenly things do change for you
Everything is destined to happen...
Its Serendipity :)

It reminds me few lines…
The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched - they must be felt with the heart. Helen Keller

Experiencing silence

9.10 in the morning
cool breeze
quiet sunny outside
I am sitting in my bed
looking outside
Neem tree
chirping birds
sound of leaves

First I was hoping to get a room in hostel
with view a of Sabarmati river from balcony
but I am happy with whatever I have got
from "Chit" system, while selecting hostel rooms

In the morning
I opened windows and all doors
allowed cool breeze to enter
I like the room which is filled with light

I am quietly sitting in my bed
Room appeared pleasant to me
Every time it looks different to me
though its not properly cleaned

A pile of clothes lying at one corner of bed
few papers are scattered on table
my books are not in placed
papers on my pin up board are reducing
few of them are flying with the air
I looked at the " photos" on board and smiled
different moods and times captured in those...

Back ground music of air tel ringtone for a while
later..
only sound of leaves and fan in my room
everything is in motion....
I am sitting still....
feeling happy from within
Experiencing silence.....
with cool breeze all over the place.

books

Today I was sitting in KMC ( its our college library) after a long time and happened to be sitting alone on other side of it.I saw those books which I haven't checked in last 2 years of NID..I remembered on the first day,they told about KMC i.e. Knowledge Management Centre has around 80,000 books..I was so shocked that time...I thought ,I will not be able to read all books in two years even if i want to...then as per our courses started I became familier with KMC...and that became THE place to study, chat, timepass, meet people n for that matter to "see" people..which we generally didn't get to see in the institute.. ;)

Today in the last sem I am feeling that how many books I have read in two years...not even more than 1500...atleast for reference, projects, some just to read, just to see and few just to make an excuse to sit inside library .....

I wanted to write so called " brief" of my major project and it was very hot outside( Thanx to ahmedabad), so I entered to this place, sat in another corner where I generally never sit...Happened to see books from management section...advertising...biology....software programmes..
and I was going through my written papers, trying to write my brief.... I picked up a book called ..
" creative"...I read it for sometime, then I picked up another book...
" perfect mangers".....
"celebrity sells"...how celebrities are imporatant in media and people influenced by them and their acts ....
" straight talks"...
The ability to interact with people using direct, honest communication is something to which we all aspire, but saying exacltly what you want to say is not always easy. In fact, in the situations in which straight talk is the most needed,it is most elusive.

" Layout"...I thought this will be helpful for me to make my portfolio ...because my presentations skills are not that great...so I just started reading...

first paragraph says..
How does creative ideas evolve into an end result? What does the process look like?
The truth is : Design is personal, each designer or artist approaches a job or a project differently. A designer brings his personality, experience, education, imaginaton, preference to each piece - Rodney J. Moore

I wanted to read more and I received a call, so I kept that book aside...which I will definately read it...Now I feel I should spend more time in KMC and read books..

Aisa kyon hota hai, jab sab khatm hone aata hai..to saari cheezonki ahemiyat pata chalne lagati hai.. :D

eyes...

Eyes speaks louder than words
I started knowing this recently…

why??

Why there is a difference between two people
one is rich, can afford variety of food
other is struggling hard to earn money for food
one has to leave school and home for that

why there is a gap between thoughts
one that is rich ..
is always considered to be cultured and well mannered
though most of the times they aren't
one who is from lower class
has to be considered doubtful
just because they don't have money
that doesn't make them culprit

I have seen people who have everything
but still get pleasure out of stealing things...
it's a weird mentality

why this is happening
you have evrything ..whatever you want ...at your feet
but still unhappy
on the other hand,
people who doesn't have anything to loose
are more happy and contented...

They never complain...just slog
but never come in the picture...
or draw anyone's attention
They are silently doing their own work...at the age of 10 years
working for someone..
looking after their families
where everyone works only to survive

I always ask...why this situation is there...

Their eyes might dream of wearing proper clothes
which aren't torn
wearing a pair of slippers, so their feet doesn't get dirty
and a day where there is no tension of work
playing with gali friends
spending time for themselves
having extra money to buy something
gain confidence to tell... from what they suffer
no more fight for their existance
a deep breath for themselves
eyes wide open to share happiness...

I feel..

I feel like a small kid
when I am with you
so comfortable and relaxed
no hesitations
no after thoughts
I just feel nice
can't express in words
I can shout at you
I can laugh with you
enjoy telling every small thing to you
no matter how important that is to me
I can go and on and on and on...
only thing I need, you should be around

Puzzle

you are a puzzle
I am trying to solve
difficult it gets
The more I want to solve...

words

I can understand you, without words...
sometimes only presence is so comfortable
we were sitting next to each other
I can see an invisible wall between us
I thought you are calling me..
I looked at you, wanted to reply
then I realized and smiled
it was going in my mind...
you were sitting still
looking out of the window
in your own world..
you leaned on my shoulder
for few seconds
It meant a lot for me.
At times,we need support of each other
we don't have words to exchange
we have simple gestures
we have our own thoughts..
I think, if I get close to you
unknowingly, I will hurt you
I don't want that to happen..
may be you will never know
I care for you, in my own ways

Reality

I always wanted to be like this..... alone
why am I feeling so empty now?
Is it a fear of loosing you?
or is reality hurting me more...
Again I can see,
thousands of my reflections..
into broken pieces of my dreams
As days pass by,
I am getting a strong feeling
that I am shattered..

one for you

Today I read one of my friend's poem.I didn't know that she can write so well..she reminded me of a poem which I read long back, which I have mentioned below..I don't know the name of writer and title..but whenever I read something that I can relate to, I always remember a line written by my favourite marathi writer.....

"As you write more and more personal, it becomes more and more universal"

untitled by unknown

Sometimes your heart thinks,
whom do you really love?

You love someone,
but you like someone else
Your mind speaks,
but your heart denies…

Someone listens,
but someone else comforts…
Someone prays,
but someone else consoles…

Someone says, but someone
else’s action speaks…
Someone laughs,
but someone else understands…

Someone tells,
but someone else makes you do…
Someone is there,
but someone you want is not…

You search for someone
is someone else…
Is this beginning of love?
or is it the end?

A time comes in life when you think what love really is?
What you think is love or its something else?

Listen to your mind….
but follow your heart..