few insights

She asked Fraser not to tell anybody, this was her reason:
‘I had conflict, common to my generation of women, about commitment and career, and is this the right person, and being scared. I said yes, but my mind was whirling. The trouble is, we’re all fed a diet of knights in shinning armour, whereas what I had in reality was this descent, good-looking, nice man who I was terribly comfortable with, but wasn’t fireworks and parties every night and traveling round the world. May be the knight in shining armour was round the next corner. But the guy who produces fireworks is not the guy you want to spend your life with. The comfortable alternative sometimes puts people off because lots of us want to live on the edge. What I’ve learnt now is that the companionship, trust and laughter are so important, and it can seem fuddy duddy – but it’s not, it’s real. And we do have our firework moments.’

I get a lot of this sort of attitude from women and men in their thirties and forties. They find it almost impossible to make commitment in case something better turns up along the line…I don’t really know what the answer is here, in almost every case there has to be give and take, compromise and a willingness to take the long view.

Tales from the country matchmaker, Patricia Warren.