I want to be a star...

What is life ??
I keep asking this question to myself, and when I don't get the answer ..
I look the criss cross lines which are there on my palm,
People say those lines decide what is going to happen in LIFE
Is it really like that??
What happens when someone wants to really CHANGE something very strongly in life
Do these lines change for some one's wish?
or they stay there as it is
so that the person can look at them and console himself
" This is life and I have to accept it .."
But I never wanted to ACCEPT these thoughts , I wanted to fight ..

I think you can change your destiny
I always faught for everything in life and never got a single thing on a platter
I never complained though, but now I feel
I want everything THE WAY I WANT ....
Isn't life checked my patience enough !!
27 years of life is a graph which is never constant
I'm still struggling looking at the lines, someday they will CHANGE for me
I want to relate those experiences of LIFE to these lines
How do I do it??
I laugh on my thoughts, but I DON'T CARE !!
I still believe I have courage and strength in my little hands to fight and be there up in the sky with stars !!

When I was a kid I read story of Dhruva .. who was so determined that god gave him position of a star in the universe i.e. the pole star Dhruva, which you will find constantly in North direction shining brightly than the other stars.....whenever I was low in my life I made a wish that I want to be that star ..check my patience but place me there so that nobody can move me from that place...I think the time has come that I want to make that wish again.

She …

I listened to you
And I thought…
I really know how you feel
At this moment …


When nobody is with you,
You are all alone,
Going through finer detail,
Trying to connect everything happened …
And you realize,
Something is there in between both of you,
Which we can't deny
But the fact is so conflicting
We still aren't together!!


Just because she don't want to listen to her heart
And allow her self to be free to love someone
It's something very natural and beautiful
To be in this feeling
I feel so right when I think about her!!


You don't want to spend whole life without her
And you expected this will happen
One more time… NO
You think..
I have heard NO every time in life
But don't know how to stop this thing I have started
It's not in my hand I have controlled enough
Now I am setting myself free
And going to do what I really want
So that I can be with you all my life
Though you had said NO...


I thought, I am living those moments again with you
Walking back in my memory lane
you reminded me of my earlier days
when I did the same thing
what she is doing now…
I didn't allow myself to be free and express
What I really want ...
Due to my few principals and guilt
I will not call that a mistake
But I lost something precious for sure …


I was as crazy as you are
As madly in love as you are
As tender as you are, when you talk about her
As restless as you are right now
When she isn't around

I wrote every conversation in my diary
And kept pages of all scribbled thoughts
Did all stupid intuitive things
From FLEAMES to read daily fortune of both

I found you everywhere in some form
No matter, whether I am working or walking back home
Your words, your laughter, your thoughts
Captured my mind to the last fraction of a second
I understood every single clue which time has shown
Those made me think
I should still wait for you
I so knew that I want to be with you !!


I couldn't imagine that
I have reached so far
Just for you …
A simple person like me
Who wanted to live life the way it's coming…
You made me so strong to follow my heart
So I am going to do everything
Just to be with you !!

single line !

One line mail can be soothening also... I felt that today!!

What we want??

Sometimes in life we become so sure of what we want ...I think that phase comes in everyone's life where everything appears crystal clear ....I have realised that rescently. As a person I think a bit too much but and then do things... but at that time also things appear like a blurr image to me. for a change ,the picture I have in front of my eyes is so beautiful and clear ...how does this happened to me.. I am wondering ..
This gives you immence confidnece, happiness and an urge to live life... I have fallen in love with life again and again whenever I have seen or felt a THING which makes you speechless ....In my life these moments have come many times where I was amazed of whats happening...
and I always thanked god for showing ME those things.

Last few months I have met so many new people, visited many different places , spoke on many different topics while at work or while travelling , read articles, clicked photographs ... life has so much to offer it to us ...it depends upon how you look at the things and how open you are to accpet it...It keeps offering to you in its own manner . It feels I have done a whole long journey within me. I have changed so much and done all new things which I haven't done earlier ...it may be as simple as seeing a snow fall,
seeing daylight in north pole till 11:00 in the night ..where you surprised where is the darkeness of night??
huge sky span...
all colours appear ALIVE to me ..
understood meaning of LIVING ON YOUR OWN ....
wide difference between the place you belong to and where you come for work..
basic food.. defination of seasons... festivals..games .. education..culture .. behaviour .. social norms...
taking care of something..
longing for people you love...
different languages but conveying same feelings ...
learned to ineteract with hand gestures ,drawing and numbers where nobody understand your language ...and still being succesful in it ..finally it works ..
I dont know how ..may be because word is not the only medium of communication..and at the end we are human beings we feel the same way for all the things ..it doesn't matter which place you belong too...

kept my fingers crossed!!

STATE OF MY MIND:

Feeling light like a pleasent breeze ,
everything is slowed down in a rhythm
and its keeping time with my heart beat...

I'm feeling Happy and want to Live more
like an innocent leaf spurring from tree,
urge to grow towards sunlight...

I'm so contented right now...
with all GOOD things happening around me
which is keeping everyone Happy
I have kept my fingers crossed ..
so that it should last little longer !!!

Joining dots

Some discussions just opens up your mind and trigger many thoughts..like one dot joining the other immaterial of the distances between them ...you can make connections. suddenly we feel everything is related to each thing happens in life. nothing is without a reason. only we are unaware of the reasons behind the things. I belive in it totally!!
sometimes we just CONNECT to some people , we don't require to SPEND time with them... something makes you comfortable with them, which we can't define and forces you within to strike a conversation...we feel nice to share whatever comes to your mind with them ...because they aren't judgemental about you. they are as honest as you are AND TRYING TO understand MEANING OF YOUR CRAZIEST THOUGHT!!

Melting ice

I felt hurt ...
Pain like a crack appeared on the surface of an ice,
which grows deeper ...
when its exposed to sudden sunlight

warmth destroys state of an ice
it becomes water ...
transperent , fluid which can't be held...

it looses its solid and tough state
in which nothing can break him,
but a ray of warm light is sufficient
to finish him...

I felt the same in your presence !